Becoming parents requires no degree; also it does not guarantee our understanding the psychology of the little ones. Sometimes we are so baffled when small pin like situations arise and we are in a fix. How to deal with this one? One among the many is
“Children seeking attention and throwing tantrums”
Humans have the longest relationship nourishing period; it stretches according to the culture of the country. The moment a child arrives to the parent, it becomes the centre of attraction for them. Then starts the fussing, loving and nurturing part. Do we also teach the children to play by themselves, to be with themselves? This turns into a habit by the time a child turns 2 years old. For them we are always around, we are always there, their insecurities are covered up and their desires fulfilled. In the process of readying them for the society, we start a reverse process of denials, saying no, don’t, afterwards. This initiates a different problem in child seeking our uninterrupted attention by throwing tantrum.
Here are some helpful tips to deal with this:
- Health: First and foremost check the vitals. See, if the child has his needs taken care of. Whether or not he is either, hungry, thirsty, sick or tired. Once this is done move to other steps of how to deal with it.
- Ignore and Walk away: It seems to be an awkward way when we think about it. “Is this the way? “But believe me it works. It is the first step to introduce them to their own selves and not to seek attention all the time. By doing this they come to know “This doesn’t work”. Also, it gives them time to work on their emotions.
- Avert / Act silly: This works wonders. Just distract them towards something else from their immediate focus of attention. Point out to something else, show them something interesting, tell them a secret, and sing them a song. Innocent minds can be distracted easily. Act silly, topple over, fall down, just anything to distract. Practice the trick and OH! It can be so much easier.
- Stay Calm as You Seek: Is this not what it is all about. You desire for the child to stay calm when the situation is making him/her to throw tantrum. Tell the child let’s reason it out later. If you start yelling and shouting, then the child may never be able to understand. What is this fuss all about as you are reciprocating in the same way? Be the role model in displaying the calm and coolness in all the adverse situations. Love them when they display themselves as the role modelled representations of your coolness and calmness.
- Don’t give In: After all this is why you took the first decision of saying “no”. Suddenly, after the tantrum it cannot become right. Also, once you give in the child has discovered a new way of getting his wish fulfilled. Be careful, either say yes at the start if it does not matter in the child’s development, but do not change your decision to “yes” once said no.
- Tickle: This works wonderfully well. I have tried. Every time I need my son to listen to me and comply I tickle. It actually ends a complex situation on a positive note. Also, who can resist tickling? It also introduces them to laughter and smiles. And hormone to help them to do so works its wonders.
- The temper behind the tantrum: Recognize it; try to remove the child from the source of the temper. Encourage them to hold it a bit longer, promise them incentives if they do so. Tell them, they grow a bit stronger, bigger, and mature if they do so. Promise them stories, together time, a play whatever interests them. Treat them as equal when they are able to deal with it.
- Attention time: Why not? Just five minutes of absolute positive attention time to them may help them resolve their own feelings and understand your point of view of saying no…Or other child’s reaction. Just you and your child without distractions, sharing, communication, love and care. Just pure pleasure.
All of the above works. One or the other at one of the time. It is just us learning and making them learn in the process.
Note: The author is Head Mistress at Tulsi Nagar, Indore Branch. She has several years of experience in education at reputed schools in India and abroad.
The views expressed here are personal.
हिंदी अनुवाद: http://www.gyankriti.com/blog/tantrum-hindi/