Comparison should be done with numbers and not kids!
Comparison is a common approach to ascertain the performance of your child. We as parents often compare our child’s achievements or marks with others and then determine whether our kid’s are “normal”, better or excellent. We do this irrespective of child’s age, interest and capability.
Whenever we compare two siblings or any two random children knowingly or unknowingly we leave a negative impact on the child’s mind. We don’t even foresee how harshly it can affect their brain and ultimately create a negative environment for the child.
Comparison of two children, weather it is about eating habits, studies, or any other activity is extremely dangerous. Some common examples of comparison that I have come across are
- “See, how smart is your friend”
- “Look at your friend, how fearlessly she speaks in fluent English”
- ” your friend is good dancer”
The list of comparisons is practically endless.
Most of the time these sentences are negatively framed and over a period of time the children start feeling inferior in front of their siblings, friends or classmates. We need to understand that each and every child is precious and unique in her own way. Their childhood should be nurtured very careful. These few sentence of comparison leave impact on their behavior and gradually they may lose their confidence.
The parents need to understand that not every child is born with all qualities in himself. All the elders of the family need to understand that if their one child is good in studies than it is not necessary that all the children of that home will score the same level of marks. May be other children are better at Performing Arts or Sports. Parents should always respect value of their children and try to encourage her participation in areas of her interest.
When I became an educator at Gyankriti I would sometimes compare two children and the school management would constantly ask me to not indulge in such behavior. Instead I was told to appreciate the positives in each and every child, I was encouraged to know the background of children and their interests. Then only I could talk to children based on their different level of understanding. Now I can say that Gyankriti was helped me get rid of this dangerous habit of comparison. Hopefully the parents will also start following this practice for betterment of their children.
Authored by: Ms. Jyoti Malviya, Grade 2 Teacher.